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Healthcare

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Clinic Closures Force More Rural Americans To Rely On Horse Who Stomps Twice When Patient Has Cancer

WASHINGTON—In the wake of the Trump administration’s decision to require employers to pay a $100,000 fee in order to hire immigrant physicians on H-1B visas,…
News, Politics

FDA Approves New Drug That Reverses Effects Of Narcan

SILVER SPRING, MD—Praising the drug’s ability to quickly and effectively increase fatalities amongst the nation’s opioid users, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved a…
Local

Medical Student Practices Fat Shaming On Cadaver

INDIANAPOLIS—In an effort to get hands-on experience stigmatizing patients’ bodies in a safe environment, Indiana University medical student Dylan Loera confirmed Wednesday that she was…
Politics

White House Reclassifies Nursing As Hobby

WASHINGTON—Describing the practice as a “fun little side project” rather than an occupation, Education Secretary Linda McMahon announced Monday that nursing would be reclassified as…
American Voices

New Rules Would Deny Visas To Those With Chronic Health Conditions

The U.S. government issued new guidance that would deny visas to applicants with certain chronic health conditions such as diabetes or obesity if they may…
Politics

Medicaid Work Requirements Myth Vs. Fact

More than 71 million Americans are enrolled in Medicaid for healthcare. The Onion dispels common myths surrounding the program’s new work requirements, which go into…

American Voices

Woman Mistakenly Receives Box Of Human Hands, Fingers

A Kentucky woman who was expecting a delivery of medicine instead mistakenly received a box containing severed human hands and fingers that were meant for…
News

CDC Figures It Easier To Start Tracking People Without Measles

ATLANTA—As the agency struggles to manage a measles caseload that has erupted to its largest size in decades, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention…
Politics

Trump Accused Of Using Makeup To Conceal Ventilator
Politics

White House Doctor: Trump Has Far More Bones Than Any Prior President

WASHINGTON—In an effort to curb speculation regarding the physical health of the commander-in-chief, Capt. Sean Barbabella, physician to the president and director of the White…
News

Nobel Prize In Medicine Awarded To Tums

STOCKHOLM—In an effort to honor the groundbreaking work of bringing fast relief to millions suffering post-meal heartburn and indigestion, the prestigious Nobel Prize in Medicine…
American Voices

Trump Announces TrumpRx Website For Prescription Drugs

Through a new government-run website called TrumpRx, drug manufacturers will sell prescription medicines directly to consumers at lower-than-retail prices, but insurance will not be accepted.…

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