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Food

News

WHO: ‘Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels’
News

Tips For Repurposing Thanksgiving Leftovers

Once Thanksgiving dinner is over, many Americans find their refrigerators packed with several days’ worth of leftover food that often goes to waste. The Onion…
Local

Grandmother Can’t Trust Herself To Keep Raisins In House

WICHITA, KS—Admitting that the tempting dried fruit would ruin her figure, local grandmother Linda Donovan told reporters Friday that she can’t trust herself to keep…
Local

Sweet Potato Dish Stopped Being Healthy 5 Ingredients Ago
Politics

White House Touts Affordability Of Hay-Based Thanksgiving Dishes

WASHINGTON—Responding to concerns about high grocery prices ahead of the holiday, President Donald Trump held a press conference Wednesday to tout the affordability of hay-based…
American Voices

Australian Prisoner Sues For Right To Eat Vegemite

An inmate in Australia is suing over a ban on prisoners eating Vegemite, arguing that forbidding the yeast-based spread violates his human right to “enjoy…

News

OpenAI Reveals ChatGPT Primarily Used To Ask If Hot Dog Too Old To Eat

SAN FRANCISCO—Shedding light on how consumers were most likely to interact with the popular software application, a new report published Thursday by OpenAI revealed that…
Local

Exclusive Soup Kitchen Offers Free Meals By Invite Only

OLYMPIA, WA—Sitting back to savor the 10-course broth-based haute cuisine, guests at the Northwest Community Center told reporters Tuesday they were thrilled to dine at…
Local

Holiday Cooking For One

With the festive season upon us and our hearts filled with the reality that we’ve never been so isolated and alone, The Onion offers an…
News

Tips For Canning Food At Home

While prices at the grocery store continue to rise, more Americans are turning to shelf-stable preservation methods to save money on food. The Onion shares…
Local

Friend Being Cagey About What She’s Going To Order

EVANSTON, IL—After casually asking what she was thinking about getting, patrons at a local restaurant confirmed Tuesday that a friend they were dining with had…
American Voices

Study: 20% Of Urinary Tract Infections Caused By Contaminated Meat

A new study found that about one in five urinary tract infections can be traced to E. coli-contaminated meat. What do you think?

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