Food

News

Nutritionists Warn Taco Bell $3 Steak Burrito A $3 Steak Burrito

ROCHESTER, MN—In an effort to advise American consumers about the potential hazards of ingesting the Mexican-inspired fast food item, nutritionists at the Mayo Clinic warned…
American Voices

FDA Warns Against Eating Potentially Radioactive Shrimp Sold At Walmart

The Food and Drug Administration warned Americans not to consume Great Value raw frozen shrimp sold at Walmart due to possible contamination with the radioactive…
Politics

Trump, Zelensky Sit Across From Each Other In Awkward Silence At Georgetown Cupcake
Local

Frustrated Man Gets Mustard All Over His New Hot Dog

CHICAGO—Kicking himself as the condiment splattered all over his pristine meal, local man Scott Wilkinson reportedly expressed frustration Thursday after getting mustard on his brand-new…
American Voices

Man Poisoned After Taking Dietary Advice From ChatGPT

A 60-year-old man was hospitalized with rare bromide poisoning after replacing table salt with sodium bromide based on advice given by ChatGPT, despite the FDA…
Politics

Agriculture Secretary Demands U.S. Farmers Invent 5 New Melons By Friday

WASHINGTON—Warning that America could not afford to fall behind in gourd-based innovation, U.S. Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins issued a statement Tuesday demanding that U.S.…

American Voices

Study Finds Federal Food Assistance Slows Cognitive Decline

A National Institutes of Health-funded study found that older adults who participated in SNAP showed a slower rate of cognitive decline than people who were…
News

Oreo And Reese’s Team Up To Sicken Dogs

EAST HANOVER, NJ—Unveiling a much-anticipated collaboration they said fans have long been waiting for, the makers of Oreo and Reese’s announced Thursday that the two…
Politics

Trump Sues Safeway Circular For False Ham Claims

WASHINGTON—In an escalation of his ongoing feud with the press, White House sources confirmed this week that President Donald Trump was suing the Safeway circular…
News

Dunkin’ Announces They No Longer Have Heart To Charge People For Such Depressing Meals

CANTON, MA—Stressing that whatever garbage they have on their menu couldn’t possibly be better than what Americans had at home, Dunkin’ officials announced Monday that…
American Voices

Tesla Opens Diner

Tesla CEO Elon Musk launched the company’s first diner in Los Angeles, with the futuristic pit stop featuring retro Americana, EV superchargers, and robot servers.…
News

McDonald’s Brings Back Beloved Snack Rat

CHICAGO—In response to countless posts and online petitions in the nearly 10 years since the fast food giant discontinued the fan-favorite menu item, McDonald’s officials…