Horoscopes

Aries | March 21 to April 19 Despite the writing being on the wall, the bridge, the subway platform, and the abandoned warehouse, you’ll still…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 For centuries, fire was a sacred symbol of vitality and strength. Keep this in mind as you roll…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 You refuse to buy into society’s petty, narrow-minded definitions of good and evil, or at least that’s what…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 You’re starting to think about settling down, finding a nice little place, starting a family, maybe eventually even…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 Nightingales are known for their sweet, often melodious song. However, the one outside your window seems way more…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 Your romantic life will hit a rough patch this week when your lover, having grown bored of your…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 You’ll inspire thousands to go out and do something with their lives in order not to wind up…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 The gods do indeed enjoy playing games with our lives—tempting us with power and driving us mad with…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 You’ll continue playing dress-up this week, despite being almost 30 and feeling kind of silly every time you…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 You thought the old gag with the banana peel was dead forever, and if it weren’t for you…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 Patience will see you through life’s most harrowing times. Plus you can fake patience by just sleeping constantly.…

Aries | March 21 to April 19 After taxes, overhead, and legal fees, that million-dollar idea you’ve been working on for years will wind up…