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KABINDA, ZAIRE—In a move IBM officials are hailing as a major step in the company’s ongoing worldwide telecommunications revolution, M’wana Ndeti, a member of Zaire’s…

DALLAS, TX—Amid much fanfare, the Frito-Lay Corporation, manufacturers of the world’s best-loved snack chip products for over 50 years, announced yesterday the addition of the…

After months of speculation, it was confirmed yesterday that the Death Star, the Empire’s vaunted, planet-destroying space station, has added a new, state-of-the-art day care…

Animals Let Out of Cages, Producing ’Leaner, Healthier’ Zoo

CAIRO—In a discovery that has electrified the global archaeological community, an Egyptian digging team unearthed a grave Sunday reported to be over 25 years old.…

Global deforestation, the environmental disaster forewarned by eco-radicals since as far back as 1980, has finally and irreversibly arrived, spokespersons from Worldwide PulpCo announced Monday.…

President Clinton, in a surprise announcement from the White House Monday, told reporters that he had been ro-man-ced and ultimately burgled by Sir Neville St.…

Female college students from across the northern U.S. celebrated the improved weather this week, preparing their breasts for the increased exposure and display that the…