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Earth Rumbles, Dishes Crash To Floor As Gerrymandering Rips Through House

SAN ANTONIO—With the GOP’s redrawn congressional maps taking effect across Texas, a local family reported Friday that the earth rumbled and dishes crashed to the…
American Voices

ShamWow Guy Running For Congress

Vince Offer, the once-prominent infomercial pitchman better known as the “ShamWow guy,” has filed to run as a Republican in Texas’s 31st congressional district, claiming…
Politics

Jack Schlossberg, Member Of Schlossberg Political Dynasty, Announces Run For Congress
Politics

Fact-Checking Claims About Zohran Mamdani

Democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani made history Tuesday night when he was elected the first Muslim mayor of New York City. The Onion fact-checks the claims…
Politics

Californians Approve Measure To Redraw ‘Garfield’

SACRAMENTO, CA—Passing the Democrat-backed initiative with a resounding 60% of the vote, Californians overwhelmingly approved a ballot measure this week to redraw the cartoon character…
American Voices

Cameroon Elects 92-Year-Old President

Cameroon elected 92-year-old Paul Biya as its president, making him the world’s oldest, amid deadly street protests and claims of widespread election fraud. What do…

News

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Andrew Cuomo

Despite losing the Democratic primary in June, Andrew Cuomo will be on the ballot this November as an independent candidate for New York City mayor.…
Politics

Cuomo Makes 11th-Hour Pass At Female New Yorkers
American Voices

Special Counsel Jack Smith Resigns

U.S. Special Counsel Jack Smith, who led the federal cases against Donald Trump on charges of trying to overturn his 2020 election defeat and mishandling…
American Voices

Justin Trudeau Resigns

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau resigned as polls indicated that his Liberal Party was set to be trounced by the opposition Conservative Party in the…
American Voices

Jack Smith Drops Election Interference Case Against Trump

Special Counsel Jack Smith requested that all federal charges be dropped against President-elect Trump over his alleged efforts to overturn the 2020 election, saying that…
American Voices

Women Stockpiling Abortion Pills Ahead Of Trump’s Term

Women across the country are seeking out abortion medication at a rate 17 times higher than usual ahead of Donald Trump’s second term, fearing his…

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