After someone heard her knocking, a Thai woman was discovered alive inside her coffin, just narrowly avoiding cremation. What do you think?

“I couldn’t imagine having that kind of will to live.”

Shelby Fournier, Frog Hydrator

“Maybe prying open random coffin lids isn’t such a waste of time.”

Hubert Roers, Yogurt Stirrer

“At that point I’d just burn alive to avoid causing a scene.”

Roger Dallum, Artifact Gatherer

Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter.

"*" indicates required fields

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.