Law

American Voices

Judge Resigns After Wearing Elvis Wig In Court

A judge in Missouri resigned after wearing an Elvis Presley wig in court, coming after a disciplinary commission determined he failed to maintain order and…
Commentary

Not Sure How They Deal With Criminals In Your Town, But ’Round Here We Use A Restorative Justice Process

Well, well, well. What have we got here? Another city slicker who thinks he can waltz into my town and start causin’ all sorts of…
Politics

Trump Threatens To Sue BBC Over Misleading Edit Of ‘The Vicar Of Dibley’

LONDON—In response to what his lawyers characterized as “a reckless and defamatory misrepresentation” of the beloved ’90s sitcom about a small-town vicar and her eccentric…
American Voices

Smucker’s Sues Trader Joe’s Over Uncrustables Dupe

The J.M. Smucker Co. is suing Trader Joe’s for allegedly copying its Uncrustables frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, claiming the products’ crimped edges and…
News

Legal Ruling Forces God To Add Cancer Warning To Earth

THE HEAVENS—Noting unsafe levels of carcinogens in all land, air, and water, a legal ruling handed down by the Celestial Court on Tuesday ordered God,…
News

New Death With Indignity Law Lets Terminally Ill Be Crushed By Falling Vending Machines

BOISE, ID—In what is being hailed as a victory for advocates of the right to end one’s life in total humiliation, the Idaho Legislature passed…

American Voices

Kim Kardashian Graduates Law School

Kim Kardashian announced that she has completed her law program after six years of legal studies, with her sister Khloé sharing photos of the private…
American Voices

Whataburger Sued For $1 Million For Not Holding Onions

A Texas man filed a lawsuit against the fast food chain Whataburger alleging that he received onions on his burger despite requesting none, claiming the…
News

New Indiana Law Requires All Porn Viewers To Register As Sex Offenders

INDIANAPOLIS—In an effort to curb unauthorized traffic to adult websites within the state, Indiana lawmakers passed new legislation Thursday requiring all potential viewers of online…
American Voices

Judges Claim Pizza Deliveries Sent To Their Homes Meant To Intimidate

Federal judges, some of whom are overseeing cases involving the Trump administration, are sounding the alarm over unsolicited deliveries of pizzas to their homes, which…
News

Sean Combs Asks For Quick Trial So He Can Get To Part Where Trump Pardons Him

NEW YORK—Insisting that they were all busy people with things to do, Sean “Diddy” Combs reportedly asked a U.S. district court judge for a quick…
News

Texas Bans Being Different Around Children

AUSTIN, TX—In a landmark piece of legislation designed to stifle individuality across the state, the Texas Legislature passed a bill Friday that legally banned being…