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Vol 55: Issue 37

OGN

GameStop Somehow Selling Used Version Of Game Day After It Comes Out

As gamers, we see a lot of strange things, but this one may take the cake. By some sort of strange voodoo, GameStop is selling…
American Voices, Opinion

Third Democratic Debate Features Narrowing 2020 Field

Americans tuned in Thursday night to watch a rapidly narrowing 2020 Democratic field make their case for the party’s nomination as Joe Biden and Elizabeth…
News

Harvard Officials Say $8.9 Million Donation From Jeffrey Epstein Was From Brief Recovery Period When He Wasn’t A Pedophile

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Emphasizing that the late billionaire was only having sex with consenting adults at the time, Harvard officials said Friday that the nearly $9 million…
Politics

Highlights Of The Third Democratic Debate

The third round of the Democratic presidential primary debates pitted the top-10 polling candidates against each other in Houston. The Onion highlights the most important…
Infographic, News

Pros And Cons Of Binge-Watching

The practice of binge-watching TV shows has risen in popularity in recent years with the increase in streaming TV shows, but critics say it can…
News

Green Giant Offering Program Where Gun Owners Can Trade In Firearms For Green Beans

PARSIPPANY, NJ—Claiming that the recent spate of mass shootings gave them no choice but to stand up and try to make a difference, vegetable purveyor…

Entertainment, Magazine

Bob Dylan On How He Likes His Corn And Why He Likes His Corn
OGN

Tips For Playing ‘Borderlands 3’

Gearbox Software’s third game in this epically playable co-op multiplayer game is finally upon us! Prepare to jump into all the post-apocalyptic action with our…
Local

Liberal Parents Struggling To Find School District With High-Quality Drag Queens

NORFOLK, VA—Saying it was never too early to begin instilling the values they believe in, liberal parents Christopher and Stacey Castaneda confirmed Friday that they…
Sports

Roger Goodell: It Nearly Impossible For League To Keep Up With Crimes Regularly Committed By NFL Players
American Voices, Opinion

Alex Trebek Back On ‘Jeopardy!’

After seeking treatment for pancreatic cancer over the summer, Alex Trebek returned for season 36 of trivia game show Jeopardy! What do you think?
Politics

Moderator Jorge Ramos Asks Candidates How They Would Help Struggling Media Companies With $7.5 Billion Of Debt

HOUSTON—Saying it was time someone finally took a stand for struggling, Spanish-language networks, moderator Jorge Ramos paused the democratic debate Thursday to ask candidates how…

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