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American Voices

Hollywood Films Increasingly Funded By Saudi Arabia

Hollywood is increasingly looking to Saudi Arabia for financing as other sources of money have dried up in the aftermath of the Covid-19 pandemic, though…
Politics

Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape

WASHINGTON—In an effort to bring an end to what he described as an anti-American trend in filmmaking, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Monday…
News

MacKenzie Scott Donates $80 Million To Reboot ‘Living Single’

LOS ANGELES—In a move that has drawn widespread praise, billionaire philanthropist MacKenzie Scott reportedly donated $80 million Tuesday to reboot Living Single. “It’s inspiring and refreshing…
Local

Ransom Notes Really Starting To Pile Up

CORVALLIS, OR—As he tried to avert his gaze from the stress-inducing pile of letters seeking money, local man Todd Fincher remarked Tuesday that the ransom…
American Voices

New Mexico Becomes First State To Offer Free Child Care

New Mexico will become the first U.S. state to offer free child care to all residents regardless of income, saving families up to about $12,000…
Politics

Trump Imposes 25% Tariff On Chinese-Made Trump Products

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to stop U.S. markets from being flooded with foreign-made campaign merchandise and other licensed items promoting his brand, President Donald Trump signed…

Politics

Trump Writes Netanyahu Strongly Worded Check
Basketball, Sports

NBA Reaffirms Commitment To Gamblers Only Ruining Their Lives Legally

NEW YORK—Following a series of illicit betting scandals that have sent shock waves through the league, the National Basketball Association issued a statement Monday reaffirming…
Local

37-Year-Old Still On Parents’ Verizon Plan Saves Credibility By Clarifying He Pays Them $50 A Month

SAN DIEGO—Pausing mid-conversation to shore up any doubts regarding his ability to shoulder adult responsibilities, full-grown 37-year-old man Justin Landry reportedly defended his credibility Friday…
Politics

Zohran Mamdani Refuses To Share Plan For Making Rich Richer

NEW YORK—Casting doubt on the mayoral candidate’s ability to effectively carry out the duties of the office, critics assailed New York State Rep. Zohran Mamdani…
Local

Pros And Cons Of Using ‘Buy Now, Pay Later’

Services such as Klarna, Affirm, and AfterPay, which offer users “buy now, pay later” financing, have surged in popularity among U.S. consumers. The Onion examines…
Local

Drive Through Rich Neighborhood Exposes Dad’s Shortcomings As Provider

ST. LOUIS—According to sources inside the 2006 Honda Civic, area father Michael Lothan’s drive home Wednesday, which took a shortcut through a nearby wealthy neighborhood,…

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