Politics

KEY WEST, FL—With a banana daiquiri in one hand and a jaw-dropping blonde in the other, Republican vice-presidential candidiate Jack Kemp yesterday unveiled his new…

American voters were given a third political option yesterday when Texas billionaire H. Ross Perot and multi-millionaire publishing magnate/heir Steve Forbes announced that they have…

SIMI VALLEY, CA—Slave manpower was doubled this week in an effort to assure that erection of the gigantic Reagan Pyramid remains on schedule, and will…

WASHINGTON, DC—In a major step toward establishing a more “soothing and peaceful” U.S. economy by Fiscal Year 1998, Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan announced…

WASHINGTON, DC—In a reversal of more than 15 years of Presidential Walkman policy, Bill Clinton announced Monday he is banning all personal portable stereo devices…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—U.S. Drug Czar Richard B. McTaggart, the nation’s Commander in Chief in the War on Drugs, held a press conference yesterday to announce he…

CAIRO, IL—Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole remains stranded on a sandbar on the Mississippi River near the Illinois-Missouri border today after multiple rescue attempts over…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Clinton was sold at an invitation-only Sotheby’s auction Sunday, purchased by well-known British financier Owen Barasman. Clinton, who went for $425,000, was the…

In a landmark decision being watched closely by both civil liberties advocates and people who have friends, Colorado Fifth District Judge Stephen T. Rozema yesterday…