Cars

Entertainment

Terry Gross Conducts ‘Fresh Air’ Interview On Bluetooth During Uber Shift

PHILADELPHIA—In an effort to earn extra income after Congress rescinded $1.1 billion in funds from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, Fresh Air host Terry Gross…
American Voices

Transportation Department Endorses Crash Test Dummies That Resemble Women

The Department of Transportation is considering a new crash test dummy design based on female anatomy, claiming it would improve safety testing for women. What…
Local

Man Unsure How To Get Old Lady Smell Out Of Hood Of Car

SAN FRANCISCO—Saying all his attempts to remove the 84-year-old’s stench from the vehicle had failed, local man Rob Davis expressed frustration Wednesday over his inability…
Local

Uber Driver Seemingly Watching ‘Titanic’ For First Time

BROOKLINE, MA—Noting that the car swerved erratically every time the gig worker switched between his GPS navigation app and James Cameron’s 1997 film, local man…
Local

Drive Through Rich Neighborhood Exposes Dad’s Shortcomings As Provider

ST. LOUIS—According to sources inside the 2006 Honda Civic, area father Michael Lothan’s drive home Wednesday, which took a shortcut through a nearby wealthy neighborhood,…
Entertainment

‘This Is Like Something Out Of A David Lynch Film,’ Says Man Driving Car With Headlights On

Local

‘Must Be A Waymo,’ Bystanders Say Of Moron Stuck Backing Up In Alley For Half Hour

LOS ANGELES—Rolling their eyes and mocking the pathetic attempts to navigate the narrow space, passersby reportedly mumbled “Must be a Waymo” Monday while observing a…
Politics

‘I Used To Work Here,’ Says Pete Buttigieg, Wandering Onto Busy Highway

TRAVERSE CITY, MI—Casually strolling from the shoulder of the road and into traffic, former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg reportedly spoke the words “I used to…
News

Trump Orders His Face Added To The Pep Boys Logo

WASHINGTON—Insisting that he deserved a place alongside the iconic visages of the auto supply company’s founders, President Donald Trump issued an executive order Tuesday adding…
Local

Report: It Will Never Feel Right Seeing Dad In Backseat Of Car

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Noting that the change in status was disconcerting and weird for everyone involved, family sources released a report Thursday confirming that it would…
American Voices

Elderly Man Gets Stuck After Driving Down Rome’s Spanish Steps

An 80-year-old man has told police he was wrong to drive down Rome’s famed Spanish Steps after firefighters had to recover his vehicle from the…
Local

Give It Some Juice, Report Sources Fiddling Under Car Hood

RENO, NV—Switching out the torque wrench for something with a little more “oomph,” local sources fiddling under the car hood reportedly requested Monday that it…