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Baseball

Baseball, Sports

Barry Bonds Reveals Asterisk Has Spread Throughout Body

Baseball

Teammates Unnerved As Interpreter Begins Referring To Ohtani As ‘The Host’
Baseball, Sports

A’s Fans Unable To Sustain The Wave Over Chasm Of 7,000 Empty Seats
Baseball, Sports

Minor League Play-By-Play Announcer Just Sounds Like Normal Guy
Baseball, Sports

Scalpers Jack Up Price Of Colorado Rockies Ticket To $11

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Baseball, Sports

Rockies Pitcher Pledges To Give Up Home Run For Sick Child

DENVER—In an effort to make sure the young leukemia patient’s night at Coors Field was a special one, Colorado Rockies pitcher Kyle Freeland pledged Saturday…
Baseball

Scout Would Like To See Pitching Prospect Mutilate Elbow A Little More

CORAL SPRINGS, FL—Emphasizing the importance of violent, ligament-shredding torque in achieving pro-caliber pitch velocity, regional baseball scout Phil Jenson told pitching prospect Gio Aguilar this…
Baseball

Pirates Under Fire For Directly Marketing Team To Children

PITTSBURGH—Detailing the harmful, long-term effects of early exposure to the ball club’s dismal on-field product, parents and child safety organizations denounced the Pittsburgh Pirates Monday…
Baseball, Sports

Moment Of Silence Followed By Hot Dog Race
Baseball, Sports

White Sox Fans Asked To Remove Polish Sausage From Mouths During National Anthem

CHICAGO—As a singer made her way onto the field to kickoff another home game with “The Star-Spangled Banner,” White Sox public address announcer Gene Honda…
Baseball

Undeterred Yankees Fan Attempts To Wrestle World Series Trophy Away From Mookie Betts

Baseball

Mr. Met’s Head Washes Up On Banks Of East River
Baseball

MLB Adds Clock To Speed Up Joe Davis’ Commentary

NEW YORK—Issuing a rule change they claimed was necessary to bring the game into the 21st century, Major League Baseball officials announced Wednesday they would…
Baseball

Yankees Move To Connecticut To Raise Kids

NEW YORK—Following months of soul searching and a protracted home sale negotiation, the New York Yankees reportedly moved to Southport, CT this week to settle…
Baseball

Ohtani Cashes In 50-Home-Run Futures Bet Ticket
Baseball, Sports

MLB Loses Millions of Stats In Warehouse Fire

SAN FRANCISCO—As front-office executives surveyed the damage done to their record-keeping facility, Major League Baseball announced Monday that it had lost millions of stats Monday…
Baseball, Sports

MLB Reminds White Sox That Games Televised

CHICAGO—With the franchise on track to have what may be the single worst season in the modern history of the sport, Major League Baseball sought…

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