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Dads

Local

Dad Calling Just To Say He Loves King Crimson

BROCKTON, MA—Acknowledging that he doesn’t get the chance to say it that often, but emphasizing that it doesn’t make it any less true, the father…
Sports

Dad Shushes Family While Focused On Jumbotron Hat Shuffle

LOS ANGELES—Narrowing his eyes and raising a single finger to silence those around him, local dad Mark Fahlen reportedly shushed his entire family Thursday evening…
Local

Dad Spends Retirement Untangling Big Mess Of Wires

WALNUT CREEK, CA—Expressing relief that he finally had the free time to explore his interests and hobbies, local 64-year-old dad Peter Hopkins announced Thursday that…
Local

Dad Carrying 2-Person Inner Tube Up Waterslide Steps Like Christ Bearing Cross
Local

Report: It Will Never Feel Right Seeing Dad In Backseat Of Car

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Noting that the change in status was disconcerting and weird for everyone involved, family sources released a report Thursday confirming that it would…
Local

Father’s Day Gift Wrapped In Paper Towel

Local

Dad Impressed By How Easily New Lawn Mower Tore Through Son’s Leg

DANBURY, CT—Expressing immense satisfaction with the recently purchased device’s performance, area dad Frank Hoyer confirmed Friday that he was impressed by how easily a new…
Local

Dad Has Some Choice Words About Hotel Bathroom’s Caulking

HONOLULU—Refusing to pull any punches in his appraisal of the shoddy workmanship, vacationing dad David Stayton reportedly had some choice words about his hotel bathroom’s…

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