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Earth Rumbles, Dishes Crash To Floor As Gerrymandering Rips Through House

SAN ANTONIO—With the GOP’s redrawn congressional maps taking effect across Texas, a local family reported Friday that the earth rumbled and dishes crashed to the…
American Voices

ShamWow Guy Running For Congress

Vince Offer, the once-prominent infomercial pitchman better known as the “ShamWow guy,” has filed to run as a Republican in Texas’s 31st congressional district, claiming…
Politics

Timeline Of Nancy Pelosi’s Career

After decades in the House of Representatives, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has announced she will not seek reelection next year. The Onion looks back at…
Politics

Jack Schlossberg, Member Of Schlossberg Political Dynasty, Announces Run For Congress
Politics

Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’
Politics

Freshman Congressman Being Adorably Discreet With Corruption

WASHINGTON—Marveling at the childlike innocence and naïveté on display from their first-term colleague, members of the U.S. House of Representatives confirmed Wednesday that freshman congressman…

Politics

Republicans Distract From Epstein Controversy By Each Sharing Most Embarrassing Moment Of Life

WASHINGTON—In a move that ignited numerous media firestorms expected to last for several news cycles, the GOP provided a distraction from the Epstein files controversy…
Politics

Congress Plays Keep-Away With Child’s School Lunch

WASHINGTON—After entering a school cafeteria in D.C. and wrenching a brown paper bag from the hands of a small child, U.S. senators and representatives taunted…
Politics

Congress Passes Blank Bill For Trump To Write Whatever Law He Wants

WASHINGTON—After weeks of eliminating what many lawmakers called “frivolous” and “unnecessary” provisions, Congress reportedly passed a blank bill Thursday in which President Donald Trump can…
Politics

Christian Faith An Important Part Of Who Senator Pretends To Be

WASHINGTON—Stressing that the facade informs nearly every aspect of his daily life, Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) told reporters Thursday that his Christian faith is an…
Politics

Mike Lee Stresses He Would Have Posted Same Thing If Own Family Savagely Murdered

WASHINGTON—After being confronted about social media posts that blamed the shootings of two Minnesota lawmakers on the far left, Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT) stressed Tuesday…
Politics

GOP Lawmakers Clarify Their Hate-Filled Rhetoric Only Meant To Stoke Fundraising

WASHINGTON—Following the Minnesota attacks in which one Democratic state legislator was killed and another was shot nine times, Republican members of Congress issued a statement…

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