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Pepsi CEO's Wife Buys Coke When She's Mad At Him

PURCHASE, NY— Mary Reinemund, wife of Pepsico CEO Steven S. Reinemund, passive-aggressively buys Coca-Cola products whenever she is angry at her husband. “Last Wednesday, Steve…
Politics

Philip Morris CEO Forces Senator To Dance For His Amusement

WASHINGTON, DC— Bored and in need of amusement, Philip Morris CEO Louis Camilleri commanded U.S. Sen. John Edwards (D-NC) to dance for him Monday. “Dance!”…
News

Enron Executives Blamed For Missing Employee Donut Fund

HOUSTON— The Enron Corp. scandal widened Monday, when The Houston Chronicle reported that top company executives stole nearly $10 from the employee donut fund sometime…
Entertainment

Television Executive's Baby Cancelled In Development Stage

LOS ANGELES–Deeming the fetus “not viable at this time,” ABC vice-president of programming Lew Schaffer pulled the plug Monday on his unborn child after 11…
Entertainment

Network Executive Cancels Show After Ruining It In Development

LOS ANGELES–Fox vice-president of programming Jonathan Sohn pulled the plug Tuesday on the new sitcom Table For Twelve after rendering the show unwatchable with his…
News

Advertising Executive Gets In Touch With Inner-Child Demographic

BOSTON–Struggling to find the perfect marketing hook for a new rainbow-colored string-cheese snack, Holland Mark Advertising executive Darius McLain got in touch with his own…

Dispatch, News

Area Applebee's A Hotbed Of Machiavellian Political Maneuvering

HARTFORD, CT–The site of a complex, ever-shifting web of alliances among servers, line cooks, hostesses, dishwashers, and managers, the Sheridan Avenue Applebee’s is a hotbed…
Local

Insurance Executive Fakes Own Life

WARREN, MI–Gordon Krumrie, a 43-year-old executive with Great Lakes Mutual, admitted Tuesday that he faked his own life to collect a substantial insurance payoff.
Dispatch, News

Executive Quits Fast Track To Spend More Time With Possessions

HOUSTON–Edwin Randle, the obsessive, hard-driving Drexel Chemicals CEO legendary for his 100-hour work weeks, stunned colleagues and competitors Monday when he announced that he is…
News, News In Photos

Busy Executive Has To Take This Call Girl
Dispatch, News

Newly Promoted Marketing Executive Treats Self To Girlfriend Upgrade

LOS ANGELES—Ever since he was hired by Kaiser, Seifert & Briggs Marketing Group two years ago, Sean Gordimer has been striving to impress the company’s…
News, News In Photos

Billionaire CEO Donates Rat's Ass To World's Poor

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