Social Media Archives - The Onion

Study Finds Young People Now Watch More YouTube Content Than Zoetropes Of Galloping Horses

The Onion Staff — Wed, 10 Dec 2025 14:00:00 +0000

LOS ANGELES—In a groundbreaking finding that reveals a major shift in media consumption habits, a new study published Wednesday found that young people now watch more YouTube content than zoetropes of galloping horses. “It may be hard for older generations to understand, but today’s young consumers are much more interested in watching videos on their phones than peering into a spinning cylinder,” said study co-author Jeremy Hernandez, who shared that his marketing firm had found that the average member of Generation Z spent less than two hours a week sitting in front of one of the motion illusion machines. “These days, practically the only population watching zoetropes are baby boomers. And when you look at the numbers for phenakistoscopes, it only gets bleaker. If the pre-cinema animation device industry wants to survive, they’re going to have to adapt.” At press time, Charli D’Amelio had reportedly signed a deal to star in three zoetropes in which she will appear to juggle bowling pins.

The post Study Finds Young People Now Watch More YouTube Content Than Zoetropes Of Galloping Horses appeared first on The Onion.

Malaysia Bans Social Media For Children Under 16

The Onion Staff — Fri, 05 Dec 2025 20:26:43 +0000

Starting in 2026, Malaysia will ban social media accounts for anyone under 16, joining other countries such as Australia in imposing digital age limits. What do you think?

“Man, pedophiles just can’t catch a break.”
Madison Herczeg, Gorilla Groomer

“I guess I’ll have to start meeting underage kids the old fashioned way.”
Derek Wilgus, Retired Tourist

“Can Malaysia afford to fall behind in teenage depression?”
Jimbo Loftin, Salt Packager

The post Malaysia Bans Social Media For Children Under 16 appeared first on The Onion.

Twirling Britney Spears Unaware Phone Died Hours Ago

The Onion Staff — Mon, 03 Nov 2025 18:04:49 +0000

The post Twirling Britney Spears Unaware Phone Died Hours Ago appeared first on The Onion.

Instagram Restricts Teens To PG-13 Content

The Onion Staff — Thu, 16 Oct 2025 19:24:39 +0000

Instagram will by default limit teens to PG-13 content on its platform, while also not allowing them to change their settings without a parent’s permission. What do you think?

“How do I get my daughter to tell me how old she is?”
Henrik Larsen, Llama Shearer

“My 14-year-old is mature enough to decide how many decapitations she sees.”
Farah Rahimi, Seance Technician

“Another win for orphans!”
Noah Fitzgerald, Hydration Specialist

The post Instagram Restricts Teens To PG-13 Content appeared first on The Onion.

Artist Profile: Addison Rae

The Onion Staff — Thu, 16 Oct 2025 18:26:00 +0000

Former TikTok star Addison Rae is currently on her first world tour and promoting her debut studio album, Addison. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist.

Age: Her name is Addison

Ethnicity: Second-generation Influencer-American

Genre: To Catch A Predator–pop

Former Disney Child Star: No, which is surprising to her as well

Dream Job: Britney Spears’ home health aide

Net Worth: $23,000

Fun Fact: None

Is Madonna Mad At Her?: Not yet, but soon

The post Artist Profile: Addison Rae appeared first on The Onion.

Hacked Elmo Account Posts Antisemitic Messages

The Onion Staff — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 22:01:04 +0000

Popular Muppet character Elmo’s verified X account was hijacked, resulting in the posting of antisemitic and racist content before it was secured. What do you think?

“How am I supposed to explain to my child that Elmo doesn’t use two-factor authorization?”
Colton Horn, Rottweiler Advocate

“I still haven’t forgiven him for the hateful comments he made about the letter ‘G.’”
Paolo Ferreira, Margarita Innovator

“I still remember when Bananas In Pajamas denied the Armenian Genocide.”
Bella Tucker, Fruit Photographer

The post Hacked Elmo Account Posts Antisemitic Messages appeared first on The Onion.

TikTok Trend Urges Americans To Buy Directly From Chinese Manufacturers

The Onion Staff — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 16:56:11 +0000

President Trump’s trade war has inspired a new TikTok trend of Chinese manufacturers encouraging shoppers to buy direct and pay less, highlighting American consumers’ desperation to avoid massive tariff-induced price increases while being accused of misrepresenting the products they sell. What do you think?

“I refuse to buy products from either country until they make up.”
Eric Greenwell, Bolt Salesman

“You had me at ‘buy stuff.’”
Amy Mello, Discussion Strategist

“我看起来真的那么容易受骗吗?”
Justin Knowles, Marathon Evader

The post TikTok Trend Urges Americans To Buy Directly From Chinese Manufacturers appeared first on The Onion.

Woman Charged With Selling Human Bones On Facebook Marketplace

The Onion Staff — Thu, 17 Apr 2025 16:15:10 +0000

A curio shop owner was arrested and charged for allegedly selling “genuine human remains” online, attempting to pass them off as “educational models.” What do you think?

“We only use 10% of our bones anyway.”
Ariel Bellemare, Coyote Herder

“I hope the bones get reunited with the people missing them.”
Lucas Moran, Trend Enforcer

“What was she supposed to do, give them away for free?”
Irwin Alderson, Burrito Swaddler

The post Woman Charged With Selling Human Bones On Facebook Marketplace appeared first on The Onion.

What To Know About The TikTok Sale

The Onion Staff — Mon, 07 Apr 2025 13:00:00 +0000

With a sale deadline looming, tech company ByteDance was once more given additional time to offload TikTok to a non-Chinese buyer or face a ban in the United States. Here’s all you need to know about the sale.

Q: Who are the leading bidders to acquire TikTok?

A: Major companies including Amazon, Oracle, and a Thai seafood conglomerate called Gold Star Premium Fish & Crab.

Q: Does Amazon have any conflicts of interest?

A: It owns Amazon Basics Short-Form Video Platform for Youths.

Q: How has the Chinese government reacted to American bidders so far?

A: They haven’t even responded to the 15 funny TikToks we sent them.

Q: Are there any dark-horse bidders being considered?

A: Insiders reckon it could go the way of Old Widow Calloway. It seems Mr. Calloway left her a mighty large sum of which she’s never spent a dime.

Q: How much is ByteDance asking for TikTok?

A: The app is currently listed on TikTok Shop for $2.75 plus shipping.

Q: When’s the new sale deadline?

A: Trump declared TikTok must be sold before the last petal falls from the enchanted rose that sits on his desk in the Oval Office.

Q: What if TikTok doesn’t get sold by the deadline?

A: Distractions from the ongoing global economic collapse will be pretty slim pickings.

Q: What will become of Dannii81333’s 19-part series about the time her mother-in-law stole her dog?

A: That’s up to Communist China.

Q: Shouldn’t the Trump administration be dealing with the collapsing U.S. economy and the genocide in Gaza instead of this?

A: Have fun in El Salvador.

The post What To Know About The TikTok Sale appeared first on The Onion.

Gen Z, Millennials Prefer Influencer Content Over Premium Entertainment

The Onion Staff — Fri, 28 Mar 2025 19:20:39 +0000

A new Deloitte study found that about 50% of younger consumers prefer watching creator-driven content on social media over big-budget Hollywood entertainment, claiming they feel more connected to influencers than to actors. What do you think?

“In my day, young people had to suck it up and relate to Julia Roberts.”
Clint Martinez, Rug Designer

“A-list actors can be so cold and inaccessible with all their restraining orders.”
Donald Orelove, Unemployed

“I thought Marvel’s last unboxing video was pretty good.”
Alexis Romero, Wool Boiler

The post Gen Z, Millennials Prefer Influencer Content Over Premium Entertainment appeared first on The Onion.

How Mark Zuckerberg Is Making Meta More MAGA-Friendly

The Onion Staff — Thu, 16 Jan 2025 16:20:27 +0000

Meta founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg has made a major right-wing pivot, including adding Trump ally Dana White to the company’s board and agreeing to cohost an inauguration reception. Here are the other changes Zuckerberg is implementing to make the tech company more MAGA-friendly.

12,000% more AI-generated images of a muscular Elon Musk shaking hands with John Wayne

Lowering the age minimum on Facebook Dating to 9

Allowing open carry in the Meta food court

Banning immigrants from stealing Americans’ hard-earned Instagram likes

Letting Don Jr. join any expectant mothers Facebook group he wants, no questions asked

Adding two-way mirrors to all women’s bathrooms

More Instagram ads for tactical flashlights and divorce lawyers

Encouraging more diverse perspectives on which races are inferior

Restoring Confederate monuments that were taken down from Meta headquarters in 2021

The post How Mark Zuckerberg Is Making Meta More MAGA-Friendly appeared first on The Onion.

Meta To End Fact-Checking

The Onion Staff — Thu, 09 Jan 2025 20:19:40 +0000

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced the company is abandoning the use of independent fact checkers, replacing them with X-style “community notes” where commenting on the accuracy of posts is left to users. What do you think?

“No they’re not.”
Misty Lawson, Anecdote Editor

“So it’s up to me to continue correcting people about the Aquaman canon.”
Erwin Gauder, Floorboard Installer

“Now there’s nothing stopping me from changing my status to ‘In a Relationship.’”
Tim Carabine, Iguana Breeder

The post Meta To End Fact-Checking appeared first on The Onion.