With nearly 1 million sold in 2021 and the U.S. market expected to keep growing, electric bikes have attracted their share of champions and critics. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of e-bikes.
PRO
Total pussy magnet
Reasonable compromise between fitness and sedentary death
Heavier frame will cause more damage to hit-and-run driver’s car
No need to pedal or steer or be awake
CON
Significantly hampers coal-powered bicycle industry
Stigma of e- prefix
Can be expensive once you factor in it immediately being stolen
Makes it obvious rider too much of a pussy to ride motorcycle
