Sports

SPARTANBURG, SC—The U.N. is condemning the actions of Spartanburg fifth-grader Joshua Fife, who on Monday violated the terms of the 1949 Geneva Convention by using…

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Losing Connect Four player Tony Franck denounced his sis as “pretty sneaky” following her diagonal connection of four during a kitchen-table match Tuesday. “I…

NEW YORK—The NBC telecast of a Knicks-Pacers game yielded a surprise celebrity sighting Saturday, when Friends star Matt LeBlanc was spotted in a front-row seat…

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND—As the Olympic bribery scandal widens, a stunned world is expressing disbelief over the notion that the Olympics have been tainted by big money.…

REDDING, CA—A junior-high gym-class badminton unit resulted in 948 “shuttlecock”-based double entendres Monday, shattering the previous mark of 761. The 948 jokes, all but three…

BILOXI, MS—Owners of the nation’s first riverboat-horseracing facility announced its closure Tuesday, minutes after the inaugural race. “I guess we planned it pretty poorly,” said…

MESA, AZ—A bizarre, unprecedented spinal injury sustained in a car accident Saturday has left local resident Roberto Montenegro paralyzed from the waist up. “Roberto is…