Onion News Network Archives - The Onion https://theonion.com/onion-news-network/ America’s Finest News Source Tue, 25 Nov 2025 18:22:51 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9 https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/cropped-site-icon.png?w=32 Onion News Network Archives - The Onion https://theonion.com/onion-news-network/ 32 32 234789167 Fraternity Under Investigation After Forcing Pledges To Volunteer At Soup Kitchen https://theonion.com/fraternity-under-investigation-after-forcing-pledges-to-volunteer-at-soup-kitchen/ Tue, 25 Nov 2025 18:22:51 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851693780 The post Fraternity Under Investigation After Forcing Pledges To Volunteer At Soup Kitchen appeared first on The Onion.

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Study Finds Most Americans Can’t Find Where They Are Being Deported On Map https://theonion.com/study-finds-most-americans-cant-find-where-they-are-being-deported-on-map/ Wed, 12 Nov 2025 17:24:04 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851693108 The post Study Finds Most Americans Can’t Find Where They Are Being Deported On Map appeared first on The Onion.

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Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too https://theonion.com/neighbors-always-knew-teen-gunman-was-evil-and-did-nothing-because-they-are-evil-too/ Fri, 31 Oct 2025 14:15:53 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851692613 The post Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too appeared first on The Onion.

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Black Homeowners Receive Higher Appraisal After Displaying Pictures Of Klan Members https://theonion.com/black-homeowners-receive-higher-appraisal-after-displaying-pictures-of-klan-members/ Wed, 29 Oct 2025 14:13:38 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851692462 The post Black Homeowners Receive Higher Appraisal After Displaying Pictures Of Klan Members appeared first on The Onion.

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The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein https://theonion.com/the-onion-investigates-jeffrey-epstein/ Thu, 09 Oct 2025 23:22:30 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851691947 Unlike anything you’ve already seen about Jeffrey Epstein, this documentary uncovers the truth behind one of America’s most notorious perverts. This is Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.

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Unlike anything you’ve already seen about Jeffrey Epstein, this documentary uncovers the truth behind one of America’s most notorious perverts. This is Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile.

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Shocking Video Captures Calm Police Officers Handling Situation Nonviolently https://theonion.com/shocking-video-captures-calm-police-officers-handling-situation-nonviolently/ Wed, 23 Jul 2025 19:16:01 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851688304 The post Shocking Video Captures Calm Police Officers Handling Situation Nonviolently appeared first on The Onion.

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White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off https://theonion.com/white-house-evacuated-after-trans-alarm-goes-off-2/ Tue, 15 Jul 2025 17:21:44 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851687861 The post White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off appeared first on The Onion.

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Satellite Images Reveal Drunk Father Stockpiling Fireworks https://theonion.com/satellite-images-reveal-drunk-father-stockpiling-fireworks/ Wed, 02 Jul 2025 18:34:57 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851687447 The post Satellite Images Reveal Drunk Father Stockpiling Fireworks appeared first on The Onion.

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FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System https://theonion.com/fema-head-under-fire-after-accidentally-playing-porn-on-emergency-alert-system/ Tue, 24 Jun 2025 19:27:44 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851686764 The post FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System appeared first on The Onion.

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JD Vance Rushed To Walter Reed After Inner Hillbilly Returns https://theonion.com/jd-vance-rushed-to-walter-reed-after-inner-hillbilly-returns/ Tue, 03 Jun 2025 17:57:46 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851685334 The post JD Vance Rushed To Walter Reed After Inner Hillbilly Returns appeared first on The Onion.

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213 Killed In How Do You Pronounce That? https://theonion.com/213-killed-in-how-do-you-pronounce-that/ Tue, 27 May 2025 19:12:14 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851684971 The post 213 Killed In How Do You Pronounce That? appeared first on The Onion.

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U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Participating In Combat https://theonion.com/u-s-military-bans-men-with-girl-names-from-participating-in-combat/ Tue, 20 May 2025 19:10:53 +0000 https://theonion.com/?p=1851684678 The post U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Participating In Combat appeared first on The Onion.

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