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Vol 61: Issue 43

American Voices

Priceless Jewels Stolen From Louvre In Daytime Raid

The Louvre Museum in Paris closed temporarily after thieves broke in and stole several priceless Napoleon-era jewels, the brazen seven-minute raid taking place just after…
News

How To Join ICE

As Immigration and Customs Enforcement seeks to increase its presence across the country, the agency is actively recruiting new agents to carry out the Trump…
Entertainment

Katy Perry Releases New Single About Superiority Of Canadian Manufacturing

MONTECITO, CA—Signaling a new chapter in her career, pop star Katy Perry released a new single Monday about the superiority of Canadian manufacturing. “When I…
American Voices

Survey: 1 In 5 High Schoolers Knows Someone Who Has Had An AI Relationship

A new survey found that nearly one in five high schoolers say they or someone they know has had a romantic relationship with AI. What…
Local

Sober October Ends As Deer Realizes Apple He Just Ate Fermented

SPENCER, TN—Frustrated at breaking a three-week streak of alcohol abstinence, a white-tailed deer expressed annoyance Monday upon realizing he could not complete his goal of…

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