Vol 61: Issue 35

American Voices

U.S. Military Strikes Boat Allegedly Carrying Cartel Members

The U.S. military struck and killed 11 people aboard a Venezuelan vessel that President Trump alleged were smuggling narcotics, with critics questioning the legality and…
American Voices

Microsoft Employees Protest Company’s Ties To Israel

Following reports the company let the Israeli military use its cloud servers to carry out mass surveillance of Palestinians, several Microsoft employees staged protests, prompting…
American Voices

8,500-Year-Old Settlement Lost To Rising Sea Discovered Off Denmark’s Coast

In Denmark’s Bay of Aarhus, archaeologists have discovered an 8,500-year-old Stone Age settlement that has been preserved like a time capsule underwater. What do you…
American Voices

Cracker Barrel Scraps Logo Redesign

Cracker Barrel announced it was reverting to its old logo after a new, more streamlined design generated intense customer backlash and criticism from President Trump.…
News

Report: Your Naked Body Will Make Entire Morgue Laugh

MINNEAPOLIS—In its detailed analysis of how your corpse will appear when lying on a brightly lit postmortem examination table, a report published Friday by researchers…
Local

Night Out More Fun Without Broke Friend

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA—Laughing as they paraded down the street with a newfound sense of freedom, sources confirmed this week that a tight-knit group’s night out…

Entertainment

Taylor Swift Tells Brittany Mahomes She Not Having Bridesmaids

LEAWOOD, KS—Insisting she wanted to keep her wedding as small and intimate as possible, recently engaged pop star Taylor Swift reportedly told Brittany Mahomes Friday…
Entertainment

What To Know About ‘KPop Demon Hunters’

Netflix’s KPop Demon Hunters has been a smash hit, earning the streaming service its first box-office win and placing four songs in the top 10…
News

CDC Director Arrives At Office To Find Dead Deer With ‘Fired’ Carved Into It
Entertainment

Dead-Eyed Travis Kelce Nods At Bow Tie Options For Cat Ring Bearers

LEAWOOD, KS—Periodically grunting and nodding his head, a dead-eyed Travis Kelce was reportedly viewing an array of bow tie options for cat ring bearers Thursday.…
News

Denny’s Announces Free Pancakes For Customers Who Take Fight Outside

SPARTANBURG, SC—Introducing a new promotion that will be available to both adults and children at its restaurants nationwide, 24-hour diner chain Denny’s announced this week…
Local

CEO Worried 23-Year-Old Only Into Him For His Keen Business Acumen

PHOENIX—In an intense bout of insecurity and wariness toward his partner’s superficial focus, Fortune 500 CEO William Freitag, 57, reportedly expressed concerns Thursday that the…