An incident report found that a pilot who died after crashing a helicopter into a hotel in Australia had “significant blood alcohol content” during the unauthorized flight, causing hundreds of guests and staff to be evacuated from the DoubleTree when the aircraft hit the top floor and burst into flames. What do you think?

“Idiot. It’s only blimps you can fly drunk.”

Craig Schell, Email Printer

“To be fair, someone must have taken his car keys.”

Stephen Oxborrow, Disclaimer Proofreader

“I know I wouldn’t get into a helicopter sober.”

Brittany Jasinsky, Metronome Auditor

Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter.

"*" indicates required fields

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.