Vol 61: Issue 34

American Voices

Former Japanese Internment Camp Used As Immigrant Detention Center

The Trump administration opened a massive tent-style immigration detention camp at Fort Bliss, a location once used to intern Japanese people during WWII, raising fresh…
News

Pros And Cons Of Using AI For Schoolwork

As millions of students across the U.S. return to the classes, schools and universities are struggling to establish consistent policies regarding the use of AI.…
American Voices

FDA Warns Against Eating Potentially Radioactive Shrimp Sold At Walmart

The Food and Drug Administration warned Americans not to consume Great Value raw frozen shrimp sold at Walmart due to possible contamination with the radioactive…
Local

Post Pretty Sanctimonious For Mere Month Of Sobriety

TOLEDO, OH—In response to the holier-than-thou message on their social media feeds, sources reported Friday that a post by local man Jim Boisvert was pretty…
News

Report Finds Humans Waste 74 Billion Gallons Of Water Each Year Making Tea

NEW HAVEN, CT—Providing data that bolsters long-running concerns about the beverage among environmental experts and activists, a report published Wednesday by researchers at Yale University…
Entertainment

Morgan Wallen Boycotts Grammys In Protest Of Desegregation

SNEEDVILLE, TN—Opting out of the awards process for reasons he called both personal and political, country music star Morgan Wallen announced Friday that he would…

News

Atrocities Keep Getting In Frame Of D.C. Tourist’s Shot

WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that he wasn’t going to leave the nation’s capital without getting one good photograph, D.C. tourist Stan Jacobs expressed frustration Friday after atrocities kept…
Entertainment

What To Know About ‘Alien: Earth’

Alien: Earth, the latest entry in the Alien franchise, is now streaming. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the sci-fi series. Q:…
American Voices

MSNBC Renamed MS NOW

MSNBC will rebrand as MS NOW, an acronym for My Source News Opinion World, later this year, dropping the NBC name and peacock logo to…
Entertainment

New Law Requires 15% Of Cocaine Received By Child Actors Be Set Aside For Future

WASHINGTON—In a move designed to help minors in the entertainment industry hold on to their hard-earned substances, Congress passed a new law Thursday that requires…
News

Evidence Suggests Easter Island Heads Were Gifts From Overbearing Mother-In-Law

IOWA CITY, IA—Shedding light on the age-old mystery surrounding the monolithic statues, a new study published Thursday in the Journal Of Archaeological Science found evidence…
Basketball, Sports

WNBA Agrees To End Disparity Between Men’s, Women’s Fines

NEW YORK—In a landmark move to address longstanding gender inequities in professional basketball, league officials announced this week that the WNBA would now fine players…