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Vol 60: Issue 36

Local

Moviegoers Distracted By Christian Family Praying Over M&M’s
News

Cat Scientists Theorize About Third Type Of Food That Neither Wet Nor Dry

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Pondering a hypothetical that, if proven, would fundamentally alter feline understanding of the universe, the nation’s foremost cat scientists held a symposium Friday to…
Local

Bride Being Awfully Picky About Wedding Cake For Someone Who Just Got Free Flight From Cambodia

STOCKTON, CA—Complaining that the woman acts like she owns the place despite her groom’s incredible generosity, local man Jason Foster reported Monday that his bride…
News

Everyone In Restaurant Jealous Of Toddler Who Gets To Wear Pajamas And Watch iPad

ALBUQUERQUE, NM—Expressing their envy at the child’s obviously superior dining experience, everyone sitting in a local restaurant Monday was reportedly jealous of a toddler who…

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