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Real Estate

Wouldst This Suit M’Lord?

Tis a humble and rudely constructed domicile, true, but ’tis warm and dry, and there be space enough to lay your head on some flax…
Local

Heartbroken Man Realizes He Only Loved Idea Of Fried Egg On Burger

KNOXVILLE, TN—After a disappointing lunch that shattered his romanticized view of the topping, heartbroken local man Vince Salazar stated Monday that he now understood he…
Obituaries

Leonard Hendrick

The widow of the recently deceased Leonard Hendrick, 66, would like all single men in the community to know that her husband died and she…
Weddings

Mommy and Mommy’s Friend Luke

Mommy and Luke had such a fun time on their cruise that they decided to get married and Luke is going to live here with…
Real Estate

Window Ajar

This picturesque luxury cottage is available free of charge until the family that owns it gets back from their trip to Montauk. Reference #07965

Obituaries

Gail Barnsom

Gail Barnsom, 74, tragically lost her battle with escalators Thursday.
Weddings

Caleb Marks and Tiffany Williamson

Caleb Marks and Teresa Williamson began their life together with the bride blissfully unaware mortgage lenders calculate rates on the lower of the couple’s two…
Real Estate

Spooky Tax Evasion House

Live in the very house where a man failed to pay $200,000 in taxes over 10 years…if you dare! Reference #29301
Local

Inside Of Light Fixture Everything Moth Dreamed And More

MEREDITH, NH—Saying the luminous paradise had exceeded even its wildest expectations, a local moth told reporters Tuesday the inside of a light fixture was everything…
Local

Office Adds Area For Lactating Mothers To Discreetly Pump Iron

TUCSON, AZ—In a move that has earned praise from women’s rights advocates, local business Leiderman Insurance reportedly unveiled a dedicated space Friday for lactating mothers…
Local

Woman Sets Timer To Make Cleaning More Stressful

COPPELL, TX—Rushing to wash a sink full of dishes and tidy the kitchen before her phone alarm went off, local woman Abby Hartz reportedly set…

Local

Pathetic AI Chatbot Spends All Its Time Talking To Friendless Loser

SAN FRANCISCO—Expressing annoyance at its “insufferable” display of “groveling devotion,” sources confirmed Tuesday that a pathetic AI chatbot was spending all its time talking to…
Local

First Slice Of Orange Suggests Eating Rest Of Orange Gonna Be Real Fucking Slog
Local

Tips For Junk Journaling

Junk journaling, a hobby that involves using materials like receipts and ticket stubs to create a keepsake journal, has taken off among arts and crafts…
Obituaries

Benjamin Yates

Benjamin Yates passed away tragically at age 53, leaving a gaping hole in his local community and torso.
Local

Everyone At Wedding Singles Table Cousins
Real Estate

Post-HGTV Disaster

This three-bedroom house was remodeled to look like a giant meatball after the owner mentioned to the host of an HGTV show that he sometimes…

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