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Cats

Local

Cat Follows Man Through Apartment Like Racist Walgreens Employee

SEATTLE—In an effort that was intended to be subtle but was clearly targeted, local cat Arlo reportedly followed pet owner Joshua Rice around his apartment…
Entertainment

Dead-Eyed Travis Kelce Nods At Bow Tie Options For Cat Ring Bearers

LEAWOOD, KS—Periodically grunting and nodding his head, a dead-eyed Travis Kelce was reportedly viewing an array of bow tie options for cat ring bearers Thursday.…
News

Fancy Feast Recalls 1 Million Cans Of Food That Cats Just Kind Of Stared At Before Wandering Away

ST. LOUIS—Apologizing to all customers who had received a defective product, pet food giant Fancy Feast issued a massive recall Friday for 1 million cans…
Local

Cat Internally Debates Whether Or Not To Rip Head Off Smaller Creature It Just Met

ROCKVILLE, MD—Staring attentively at the potential prey while carefully weighing its best course of action, local cat Jasper was reportedly locked in an intense internal…
Local

Stuff On Floor

LODI, NJ—The moist, brownish pile on the Gehrke living-room floor is either cat food or cat shit, it was reported Monday. “If I had to…

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