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Vol 28: Issue 18

Merry Christmas, Advertisers! Rot in Hell, Readers!

A Holiday Message from the Publisher
News

Family Enjoys Winter Wonderland in Own Home

Chicago’s Randall Clan has not had heat since early November
Local

New Report: Drug Use Down Among Uncool Kids

A study released this week by the Department of Health and Human Services reveals that drug use is down among uncool American kids. The federal…
Entertainment

Nine Drawn and Quartered at Renaissance Fair

RICHMOND, VA—Nine people were torn limb-from-limb and skewered through the anus with wooden stakes this weekend at the city’s annual Renaissance Fair. Organizers boast that…
President Bill Climpton

The Onion’s 1995 Man of the Year
Bosnian Child Makes Fun Art Project with Mother's Skull

TUZLA—It’s no fun being stuck inside the house all weekend because your town is getting shelled. Especially when you’re an energetic young girl who loves…

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