ICE Raids: Myth Vs. Fact

As Immigration and Customs Enforcement operations ramp up across the country, so has misinformation. The Onion dispels common myths surrounding ICE raids. 

MYTH: ICE agents lack proper training.

FACT: Most have been racists their entire lives.

MYTH:​ ICE raids do nothing to reduce crime.

FACT​: A fruit vendor who sold mangoes that weren’t quite ripe is now off the streets.

MYTH: ICE agents are required to identify themselves.

FACT: Most ICE agents are preverbal.

MYTH: ​My grandmother was deported to El Salvador.

FACT:​ No one really knows where she was deported to.

MYTH: ICE is violating people’s constitutional rights.

FACT: The U.S. Constitution doesn’t apply in Uganda.

MYTH: ICE exists to protect Americans.

FACT: They’re right behind us, aren’t they?

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