Real Estate

Unit contains resident who leaves out fresh roast chickens and keeps jug of milk in fridge. Take and eat whatever you want—they can’t stop you!

This modest two-bedroom, one-and-a-half bath starter home is not for sale. Please stop knocking on our door and asking to buy it.

Peace and quiet abound in this move-in ready subterranean unit within a serene, gated community. Professional landscaping included.

This uniquely shaped home made of bio-based materials hangs from the eaves of someone else’s garage so you won’t have to pay any property taxes.…

Being his sexual plaything doesn’t seem so bad once you realize you get to wake up to amazing views on his private island every day!

I mean, let’s be real, the kitchen is gorgeous and all the hardwood floors are completely original and in impeccable condition, but Ohio? Come on.…

This exclusive gated community features everything from restaurants to basketball courts, and it even has its own security team!

This pristine colon features a constant flow of nutrient-rich waste, ample space to raise larvae, and is just minutes from the anus for easy egg…

I mean, it’s a frickin’ houseboat, what more do you need to know? You’re going to blow people’s minds when you tell them you live…

The ideal home for someone whose husband didn’t disappear six weeks ago after a fight about paper towels. Master bedroom comes with closet full of…

This two-bedroom condo is perfect for you and Jessica. It’s been two years, and really, what are you so afraid of? You’d each get your…

Interested “buyers” stop by any time Thursday after 7 p.m. or Sunday afternoon. Must be prepared to be trapped for several hours.

After 14 weeks, this horrible property has attracted no interest, SO THAT’S WHY WE’RE USING ALL CAPS AND FAR TOO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!! Yes, we’re…

This two-bedroom, one-bath single-level is perfect for a young professional couple on the way up or a middle-aged alcoholic on the way to rock bottom.

Situated in the futuristic Newfoundland Standard Time Zone in St. John’s, Canada, this state-of-the-art home will allow you to experience life 1.5 hours ahead of…

Time to grow up and move home to Eau Claire, WI, say your grandparents. That girl you took to the prom has a good job…