military

American Voices

Trump Claims Democrats’ Video To Military ‘Seditious Behavior, Punishable By Death’

President Trump accused Democratic lawmakers of “seditious behavior” after they released a video urging U.S. service members to refuse unlawful orders, claiming that it could…
Politics

Pentagon Blames Venezuela For Flow Of Drugs Into Kash Patel

WASHINGTON—Calling the national crisis “a complete justification” for additional airstrikes on boats purportedly trafficking narcotics, the Pentagon issued a statement Tuesday blaming Venezuela for the…
American Voices

Japan Deploys Troops To Combat Deadly Bear Attacks

Japan deployed troops into its northern rural regions to combat a surge in bear attacks that has already killed a record 12 people since April,…
News

All 6 Branches Of Armed Forces Present At Arrest Of Undocumented Nanny

BLOOMFIELD HILLS, MI—In what they described as a collaborative effort to share resources and information in defense of U.S. territory, Pentagon officials confirmed Monday that…
Politics

Visibly Bruised Pete Hegseth Declares Wobbly Barstools Threat To National Security

WASHINGTON—Occasionally pausing to rub his bleeding temple as he delivered the statement, visibly bruised Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth declared Friday that wobbly barstools were…
News

Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored

CHICAGO—Unsure where to find the lawlessness and chaos they were told was overtaking the city, National Guard troops deployed to Chicago by President Donald Trump have…

News

U.S. Military Carries Out Strike On Scuffy The Tugboat

ARLINGTON, VA—Saying the Pentagon had acted swiftly on an insider tip about the vessel having a “big adventure” planned, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth confirmed Tuesday…
News

Starbucks Awarded $5 Billion Contract To Explore Military Applications Of Cold Foam

ARLINGTON, VA—The U.S. Defense Department confirmed Monday that Starbucks had been awarded a $5 billion contract to explore potential national security applications of cold foam,…
American Voices

Pete Hegseth Rails Against Fat Generals

Pete Hegseth sharply condemned “fat generals” at a military gathering, ordering all officers to meet stricter fitness standards. What do you think?
News

U.S. Generals Have Bad Feeling About Dog The Bounty Hunter Taking Stage
News

Trump Audibly Counting Non-White Generals
News

Hungover Hegseth Struggling To Remember How He Ended Up In Room Full Of Generals

QUANTICO, VA—Racking his brain for answers as he gazed out at the high-ranking officers gathered before him, a visibly hungover Pete Hegseth reportedly struggled Tuesday…