A recent study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found significant differences in how neural networks are connected in the…
FREDERICK, MD—Calling them spineless and utterly devoid of dignity, witnesses described Wednesday how the pathetic hands of local man David Bromley allow themselves to be…
CLEVELAND—Following the quarterback’s recent concussion against the Steelers, Cleveland Browns head coach Rob Chudzinski told reporters Tuesday that Jason Campbell has been cleared by team…
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GAITHERSBURG, MD—According to a new study released this week by George Washington University Professor of Biology Randall Palinack, the pathetic organism in his bathroom mirror—which…
ACWORTH, GA—Taking several minutes to fully process what was occurring, Sinclair Group, Inc. employee Carolyn Belk, 27, slowly and gradually realized this morning that her…
NEW YORK—A new 400-page report released Monday by the Pew Research Center confirmed that everyone—absolutely everyone—other than you is starting new, exciting phases of their…
ORLANDO, FL—Casual dining restaurant chain Red Lobster announced the start of its annual “Defrosted Shrimp Days” on Monday, welcoming back the popular seasonal promotion that…
A study published in the journal Science found that the “gut” feelings newlyweds have for each other right after getting married are good predictors of…