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Vol 46: Issue 48

Politics

Sullen Time-Traveling Teen Reports 23rd Century Sucks
Entertainment

N

PBS
Local

Man Can Get By In His Own Language

TEMPE, AZ—American citizen Ray Ayers can get along pretty well in his native language of English when he has to, the 57-year-old said Friday night…
Commentary, Opinion

Call Off The Hunt! The Kardashanian's Are Okay After All!

Item! One of the stars of the hit reality series Keeping Up With The Kardashanians just had a baby! That’s right, Karen is a mom.…
Politics

Senate Passes Massive Food-Safety Bill

In an effort to prevent food-borne illnesses, the Senate has passed new legislation—the most comprehensive of its kind in 70 years—that would give the Food…
Local

Restaurant Slammed Out Of Nowhere

At Least 30 People Believed To Have Shown Up At Once

Entertainment

Parrot's Previous Owner Obviously Watched A Lot Of 'The Price Is Right'
Politics

Julian Assange Fired From IT Job At Pentagon

ARLINGTON, VA—With officials describing his publication of sensitive U.S. State Department documents as “the last straw,” Wikileaks founder Julian Assange was asked to resign from…
Local

What Are We Borrowing From Our Neighbors?
Entertainment

2010 Oscar Contenders

The Thanksgiving weekend marks the beginning of Hollywood’s release of its prestigious films for Oscar consideration. Here are some of the movies that are being…
Local

TMZ Dayton Bureau Catches Secondhand Furniture-Store Owner Coming Out Of All-Night Truck Stop

DAYTON, OH—The Dayton bureau of the website TMZ.com has obtained photographs of used-furniture dealer Gerry Flanagan, the self-proclaimed Scratch-and-Dent King of Ohio, exiting the Copper…
Dispatch, News

Universe Admits To Wronging Area Man His Entire Life

’Dave’s Got A Right To Be Angry,’ Says Cosmos

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