WASHINGTON, DC—An emergency session of Congress rushed into passage Monday legislation changing the first names of all American males to Dudley. “Dudley is a great name,” said House Majority Leader Dudley Gingrich, explaining the move. President Dudley Clinton signed the bill late Monday night. “Though I felt that Otto was a better choice for a new name, I am satisfied with the compromise that has been reached,” Clinton said. The only males who will not be named Dudley are those who already had the name. Those males will be re-named Ira.
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