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Television + Streaming

Entertainment

‘Task’ Teams Up With Wawa For New Fentanyl Brick Hoagie
Entertainment

Netflix Now Requiring All Subscribers To Recruit 5 New Customers

LOS GATOS, CA—With an update the company hailed as a bold feature that would excite existing users and increase membership, streaming giant Netflix announced Tuesday…
Entertainment

Lucky Fan Wins Open-Heart Surgery From Stars Of ‘The Pitt’

BURBANK, CA—Touting the promotion as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go behind the scenes of the beloved medical drama, producers of The Pitt announced Thursday that…
Entertainment

New Season Of ‘Monster’ To Focus On Barista Who Made Ryan Murphy’s Drink Wrong

LOS ANGELES—Saying he was excited to explore the psychology of “one of the 21st century’s greatest villains,” Monster creator Ryan Murphy announced Wednesday that the…
Entertainment

Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity

MESA, AZ—Gleefully describing the inevitable day when society would collapse and digital files would become unusable, local physical media collector David Campbell confirmed Wednesday he…
Entertainment

Hilaria Baldwin Hires Nanny To Waltz For Her On ‘Dancing With The Stars’

LOS ANGELES—In a move that has drawn criticism from fans of the competition series, Hilaria Baldwin reportedly hired a nanny to waltz for her on Dancing…

Politics

‘You Think You Can Talk About Our Dad That Way?’ Scream Trump Boys, Beating TV With Bat

WASHINGTON—Cracking their knuckles and demanding they receive a “papology [sic], or else,” Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly yelled, “You think you can talk about…
Entertainment

New Spinoff Of ‘The Pitt’ Follows Heroic Workers At Pharmaceutical Ad Agency

BURBANK, CA—Piggybacking on the success of the Emmy-winning series, HBO Max announced a new spin-off of The Pitt Tuesday that portrays the struggles faced by heroic workers…
Entertainment

‘Chief Of War’ Producers Confirm Season 2 Will Show Hawaiians Battling Mark Zuckerberg

LOS ANGELES—Announcing the next chapter of the story was already in preproduction, Chief Of War producers confirmed Tuesday that the second season of the Apple TV+ series…
News

Nation Grateful To GOP For Protecting It From TV

WASHINGTON—Thanking the government for defending the public from the terrifying screen in their homes, the American people confirmed Thursday that they were grateful to Republicans…
Entertainment

The Onion’s Guide To The Emmys

The 77th Primetime Emmy Awards will be broadcast on Sunday, Sept. 14. The Onion shares everything you need to know about this year’s most lauded…
Entertainment

Everything We Know About ‘Euphoria’ Season 3 So Far

Filming for Euphoria Season 3 is underway with an expected release date of 2026. Here is everything we know about the series’ return so far.…

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