Health + Wellness

American Voices

Man Poisoned After Taking Dietary Advice From ChatGPT

A 60-year-old man was hospitalized with rare bromide poisoning after replacing table salt with sodium bromide based on advice given by ChatGPT, despite the FDA…
News

Trump Rushed To Walter Reed To Watch Breast Exam

WASHINGTON—In a chaotic and alarming scene that sent West Wing staffers springing into action, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that President Donald Trump had been…
American Voices

Couple Welcomes Baby Born From 31-Year-Old Embryo

An Ohio couple gave birth to a baby developed from an embryo that had been frozen for more than 30 years, which appears to be…
Local

Restless Billionaire Regrets Having Infusion Of Child’s Blood After 4 P.M.

SAN FRANCISCO—Kicking himself for having made such a foolish error in judgment, restless tech billionaire Jasper Stroud expressed regret Friday at having an infusion of…
Politics

RFK Jr. Recommends Eating Good Cancer To Kill The Bad Cancer

WASHINGTON—Suggesting an unorthodox alternative to standard oncological treatments, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued recommendations Friday that encourage Americans to eat…
News

Mental Health Experts Advise Struggling Americans To Try Crying About It Like Little Baby

CLEVELAND—In response to the rising cost of living, a lack of job options, and decreased educational opportunities, a consortium of leading mental health experts met…

American Voices

Study Finds Federal Food Assistance Slows Cognitive Decline

A National Institutes of Health-funded study found that older adults who participated in SNAP showed a slower rate of cognitive decline than people who were…
News

CDC Recommends Eating A Nice Crisp Shiny Apple Instead Of Having Unprotected Sex

ATLANTA—Claiming that the experience could provide as much satisfaction as unsafe sex, a new report released by the Centers for Disease Control this week recommends…
American Voices

Study Finds It Possible To Die From Broken Heart

A study published in Frontiers In Public Health found that it’s actually possible to die of a broken heart after the death of a loved…
American Voices

Study Finds Tiny Nose Robots Can Be Used To Clean Sinuses

Researchers in China claim that swarms of medical nano-robots the size of a speck of dust could someday be used to clean out infected human…
News

Study Finds Curative Power Of Prayer Limited To Genital Warts

CHICAGO—Emphasizing the constraints of God’s healing hands, a new study published Thursday in the Journal Of The American Medical Association found that the curative power…
Local

Cold Plunges: Myth Vs. Fact

Cold plunges, also known as ice baths, are an increasingly popular wellness trend. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding cold plunges. MYTH: Cold…