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Family

Local

Dad And His Friends Just Standing In Yard Listing Smoke Points Of Various Oils

CONCORD, NH—Despite the men all considering themselves best friends and each other’s closest confidants, sources confirmed Tuesday that local dad Sam Parker and his buddies…
Local

Mother Drunk Enough To Start Listing Names Of Miscarriages

SAN CLEMENTE, CA—Taking a long, full sip of her wine and exclaiming that her children were “miracles,” local mother Jane Donahue was reportedly drunk enough…
Local

Husband Files For Divorce After DNA Test Reveals Child Only Shares Half His Genes

TERRE HAUTE, IN—Having confirmed his suspicions of his wife’s infidelity, local husband Mark Polanco filed for divorce Monday after a DNA test revealed that the…
Local

Moviegoers Distracted By Christian Family Praying Over M&M’s
Local

Husband Asks If Ectopic Pregnancy Good Thing

LITTLE ROCK, AR—Admitting that he had heard the phrase before but was unclear as to its exact meaning, local husband Brad Moff, 35, reportedly asked his…
Local

Grandmother Hamster Overly Critical Of Way Daughter Eats Babies

WICHITA, KS—In a judgmental appraisal of her daughter’s parenting techniques only moments after she gave birth, an area grandmother hamster was reportedly overly critical Friday of the way…

Politics

Doug Emhoff Sends Blurry Picture Of Harris Speaking To Family Group Chat

CHICAGO—Struggling to hold his phone steady while his wife spoke at the Democratic National Convention, second gentleman Doug Emhoff reportedly sent a blurry picture of…
Local

PornHub Surprises Frequent User With Wife, Loving Family Upon 10,000th Masturbation

SAN DIEGO—In an attempt to reward the loyal fan for his years of support, PornHub reportedly surprised frequent user Jeffrey Mitchell this week with a…
Politics

Biden Team Proud Hours Of Grueling Prep Successfully Got President Through Meeting With Family

WASHINGTON—Revealing they had holed up in Camp David beforehand and grilled him nonstop for a week straight, President Joe Biden’s team confirmed Tuesday they were…
Local

Sister’s Deadbeat Boyfriend Doing Wonders For Rest Of Family’s Self-Esteem

SANTA ROSA, CA—Admitting that they normally would not have embraced someone whose life was such a goddamn shitshow, local woman Tara Lopez told reporters Tuesday…
News In Photos, Politics

Trump Family Takes Adorable Birthday Pictures Of Donald’s Face Covered In Cake
Local

Youngest Brother’s Reputation Among Family Still Just The One Who Threw Scissors At Mom

JOPLIN, MO—Though decades have passed since the incident that sealed his reputation through childhood and beyond, siblings of Dennis McKee told reporters Friday that their…

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