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Family

Local

Mom, Dad Bickering Over Whether They’ve Seen ‘The Bear’

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—With the rest of the family looking on tensely as the conversation grew heated, local parents James and Denise Sweeney were reportedly bickering Tuesday…
Local

Grandma AirTagged
Local

Nephew In Trouble For Strangling Again

WILMINGTON, DE—Adding to his streak of disagreeable behavior, 12-year-old nephew Cooper Goodpaster was reportedly in trouble for strangling again. “Oh gosh, that’s not good, is…
American Voices

3-Year-Old Discovers 3,800-Year-Old Amulet While On Family Outing

A 3-year-old girl found a scarab-shaped Canaanite amulet dating back some 3,800 years while on a hike with family in Israel. What do you think?
Local

Senile Grandma Tries To Set Up Grandkids With Each Other

FORT WAYNE, IN—Boasting that she could already tell the two would produce beautiful babies, local senile grandma Deborah Hansen tried to set her grandkids up…
Local

Stepson Liked With All Of Man’s Heart

Local

Report: Fun Aunt Has To Go Away For A While

WICHITA, KS—Urging her niece and nephew to sit down on the couch for a moment to talk about something serious, local fun aunt Penny Laurence…
Local

Bald Man Presses Face To Window As Thick-Haired Family Sits Down To Dinner

BOSTON—Gazing longingly at the obvious warmth and good cheer within, local bald man Frank Richmond reportedly pressed his face to a window Wednesday as a thick-haired family inside sat down to dinner. “They all seem so happy,” said…
Football

NFL Planning Small, Intimate Super Bowl With Friends, Family

NEW YORK—Confessing that celebrations had unfortunately gotten a little out of hand in recent years, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell told reporters this week that he…
News

Assad Regime Leaves Note Thanking Locals For Supporting Family-Run Dictatorship

DAMASCUS—Stating that none of it would have been possible without the broken will of the nation’s people, ousted Syrian autocrat Bashar al-Assad left a note…
Local

Parents Completely Jacked 3 Months Into Retirement
Local

Report: Get Back Here And Apologize To Your Mother

POCATELLO, ID—Shedding new light on an unfolding situation that allegedly left Mom very upset, a new report issued Tuesday through Dad’s gritted teeth indicated that…

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