News In Brief

Reston, VA—The Matthew, Mark, Luke and Fun Playland theme park opened Saturday to a record crowd, most of which came to ride the new Spankinator…

Durham, NC—The Philip Morris Company announced Monday that a team of tobacco researchers has linked lung cancer victims to a condition known as “Pussy Lung”…

Canaan—The sacred covenant made between Abraham and the Hebrew god Yahweh expired Monday, setting off a fierce round of re-negotiations between Jewish representatives and God’s…

Tolbrook, ID—If you are coming from the city, take I-80 South to the Chesterton exit. Follow the off ramp around and turn left on Chesterton.…

ZAGREB—YugoBubble, Bosnia’s leading producer of gum and candy confections, cashed in on the enduring popularity of its country’s civil war by unveiling an exciting new…

NEW YORK—Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole joined Jeep Cherokee, Ford Taurus and Cadillac Seville on Car and Driver’s 10 Best American Automobiles list yesterday. “When…

ROME—Pope John Paul II was puzzled and confused yesterday after misplacing the only set of keys to Vatican City. An array of Italian police, Interpol…

SAN DIEGO, CA—The San Diego Zoo, home to the world’s largest collection of animals in captivity, added its first human specimen Monday, acquiring Chinese man…

Lagos—The major cholera outbreak that has ravaged the Nigerian city of Lagos and surrounding rural villages has many Americans feeling very glad they do not…