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Halloween

News

Studios Enter Bidding War Over Napkin Stephen King Wrote ‘Ghoul’ On

LOS ANGELES—Anticipating the project could be the biggest horror hit of the decade, film studios were reportedly locked in a bidding war Friday over a…
News

ICE Agent, 7-Year-Old Both Wearing Same ‘Military Commando’ Halloween Costume
Local

Scream Mask Left On While Using Toilet
Entertainment

24-Hour Horror Movie Marathon Attended With Other Failures

MILWAUKEE—Expressing enthusiasm about the programming and atmosphere at the Avalon Theater’s all-night screening, local man Dan Wittman reportedly attended a 24-hour Scare-O-Rama horror marathon this…
Local

RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands

WASHINGTON—Asking the children to please just take one since he had to acquire the organs from a “sketchy dealer” in West Virginia, Health Secretary Robert…
Entertainment

Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too

CLEVELAND—Revealing a vast, forgotten catalog of legitimate pop compositions, a report released Thursday about novelty musical act Michael Joseph Jackson found that the man who…

Politics

Diplomatic Talks Break Down Between Trump, Motion-Activated Ghost Decoration

WASHINGTON—In what they described as a disappointing turn in the ongoing negotiations, White House officials confirmed Wednesday that diplomatic talks had broken down between President…
News

Home Depot Introduces New 12-Foot-Tall Willem Dafoe

ATLANTA—Saying the novelty decoration would add the perfect touch to Halloween yard displays, the Home Depot announced Friday it had begun selling a new 12-foot-tall…
News

Secretary Of The Macabre Unveils Initiative To Fill Nation’s Empty Eye Sockets With Maggots

WASHINGTON—In remarks delivered to the White House press corps, the U.S. Secretary of the Macabre unveiled a new departmental initiative Friday that aims to fill…
Local

Real-Life Dracula Recoils After Seeing Woman On Dating App Wearing Crucifix

NEW YORK—Hissing with distaste as the dreaded Christian symbol suddenly appeared on his phone screen, Scott Tatum—a real-life Dracula—reportedly recoiled Friday after seeing a Tinder…
News

Ghoul Americans Celebrate Demonic Heritage Month

CHICAGO—In commemoration of the many historic contributions made to the nation by individuals who feast upon the remains of the dead, Ghoul Americans are coming…
Local

Proactive Man Starts Working On Dracula Impression Early So It Ready For Halloween

BEVERLY, MA—Launching into preparations months early in an effort to get a head start, proactive local man Mark Cromwell was reportedly already working on his…

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